One of the reasons that coaching has become so successful is that we contract out accountability for our goals to another person. That person-the coach-checks in with us on a regular basis to see how things are going without taking responsibility for the accomplishment of the goals themselves.
When we follow up after a mediation that has produced an agreement, we are essentially doing the same thing. We are not taking responsibility for the implementation of the agreement, but we are creating a forum for participants to report back on how things are going and to explain both the successes and challenges since the agreement was reached.
There was a time when I considered a follow up a courtesy, something non essential but ‘good’ to do. More and more, I am of the view that follow up is a vital part of any mediation, especially in workplace mediations where the disputants have worked out new behavioral arrangements.
Reasons to Follow Up
First and foremost it signals care. The participants know that you share in their desire to succeed. In addition, it signals your realism. We all know how hard it is to change habits. Over time, people develop dysfunctional ways of relating to one another. Agreeing to change behavior is one thing. Actually changing it is another. It also signals an opportunity. Fine tuning an agreement or making adjustments based on lived experience is not a sign of failure but of maturity. By following up you are creating an opportunity for the participants to trouble shoot and consolidate lessons.
The entire focus of the follow up meeting is learning. Following up is not about blame, but continuous improvement.
How to Follow Up
My preference is to follow up about 45 days after a mediation has produced a behaviorally specific agreement. Sometimes I check in with each of the participants by way of a phone call. At others, I actually convene a meeting where we all share how things are going.
I establish rapport by listening reflectively to whatever is said when I call or we start our meeting. As much as possible I validate emotions and explore whether it is possible to reframe any frustration as care, disappointment as commitment, and anxiety as courage.
Once I sense that the participant/s are comfortable and ready to open up, I orient them to what we are about to do. I remind them that the process is still confidential and may use open ended questions such as:
- What aspects of the agreement you reached have been working well?
- What have you done differently since reaching the agreement?
- What has the other person done differently since reaching the agreement?
- What aspects of the agreement are causing frustration/disappointment/anxiety?
I may also used close ended questions, as needed, such as:
- Have you been following the terms of your new agreement?
- Have you been meeting regularly as proposed?
- When last did you look at the agreement?
When we follow up in a shared meeting I get participants to share specific situation that have been challenging. Based on what they share, we may do some additional skill building and then I have them do what I call a ‘Take Two.’ They get to replay the situation and with some supportive coaching and encouragement, see that it could have worked out differently.
Conclusion
To make sure that follow up gets the respect that it deserves, I now include it in my proposal when asked to mediate. I explain that it is an important part of the process and just the way that I work. In many ways, mediators are like coaches, asking the accountability questions, while leaving decision making and implementation responsibility where it belongs-with the participants themselves.
Blogs are good for every one where we get lots of information for any topics nice job keep it up !!!
Posted by: writing up dissertation | June 07, 2009 at 10:22 PM
Hi,
This is really a nice post, you share good piece of information.
Posted by: Assignment Help | October 29, 2009 at 05:47 AM
This is really a nice post, you share good piece of information. I appreciate the information, well thought out and written. Thank you.
Posted by: Essay Writing | October 29, 2009 at 10:53 PM
Hi,
Great information! Indeed very useful for me, Thanks for sharing.
Posted by: Dissertation Service | October 30, 2009 at 12:37 AM
This is inspiring; I am very pleased by this post. Nice info at this post thanks!!! I really like it.
Posted by: GCSE coursework | October 30, 2009 at 11:45 PM
Hi,
This is really a great stuff for sharing. Keep it up .Thanks for sharing.
Posted by: College Term Paper | November 03, 2009 at 11:09 PM
Hi,
It was a very nice post! Just want to say thank you for the information you have shared. Just continue writing this kind of post. Thanks.
Posted by: Custom Essays | November 04, 2009 at 12:54 AM
Hi,
Nice info at this post thanks!!! I really like it.
Posted by: Custom Essay | January 04, 2010 at 09:46 PM
Different people that are searching for some knowledge about online term paper at the writing services would look through your fantastic knowledge associated with this topic. In other situation, that’s available to use the help of the custom essays service.
Posted by: hL35LILY | January 05, 2010 at 12:21 PM
This is extremely helpful info!!! Especially since you guys are offering it for free!! Very good listing. Everything is true. Thanx.
Posted by: Dissertation Help | January 15, 2010 at 11:11 AM
This blog is very nice and informative. It is pretty hard task but your post and experience serve and teach me how to handle and make it more simple and manageable.
Posted by: psychology dissertations | January 26, 2010 at 10:34 PM
I have read your article and and very best wishes for you
Thanking you
Posted by: dissertations quality | February 21, 2010 at 03:31 AM
The very-2 important matter in blog and these are very successeful contractor and you should use of this blog.
Thanking you
Posted by: spss help | May 11, 2010 at 10:18 PM
A lot of specialists state that loans aid people to live their own way, because they are able to feel free to buy needed goods. Furthermore, some banks offer consolidation loan for all people.
Posted by: http://lowest-rate-loans.com | June 17, 2010 at 05:36 AM
I have read your article and and very best wishes for you.
Posted by: web design | July 19, 2010 at 12:55 AM
This kind of information is very limited on internet. Nice to find the post related to my searching criteria. Your updated and informative post will be appreciated by blog loving people.
Posted by: dissertation help | July 19, 2010 at 03:23 AM
You done a great job to post this kind of valuable information.
Posted by: Online Education | August 17, 2010 at 12:10 AM
Thanks for subj. Added to favorites.
Posted by: Passing Urine Drug Test | September 22, 2010 at 11:10 AM
Good post and a fantastic read. You have raised some valid points. Great work, keep it up. I love returning back to this site and reading the quality content you always have on offer.
Posted by: Free Essays | October 18, 2010 at 08:56 AM
This is the great idea that to make our nature make attractive and nice. This is nice to make our surroundings beautiful.
Posted by: Research papers | December 07, 2010 at 10:51 PM
From business perspective, Following up is an important business practice. It helps convert a potential buyer into a paying buyer.
Posted by: logo design | December 09, 2010 at 01:04 AM
The Importance of Follow Up, is very much and I think this is really good thing to have a information about it because it is some thing has good to know about.
Posted by: Research Papers | December 10, 2010 at 04:29 AM
I would like to congratulate the author for writing such a wonderful and informative blog. Truly amazing piece of work. Thanks for sharing.
Posted by: mobility scooters | December 11, 2010 at 08:19 AM
Thanks for such a nice blog post....i was searching for something like that.
Posted by: payday loan direct lender | December 16, 2010 at 11:16 PM
It's indeed an art to stop and attract visitors to their website especially by their writing skills. The author deserves all the praise for it. Thanks for sharing.
Posted by: bard catheters | December 27, 2010 at 05:43 AM