"Conflict cannot survive without your participation."
"Conflict cannot survive without your participation."
"Conflict is therefore simply the sound made by the cracks in a system, whether the system is personal, familial, relational, organizational, social, economic, or political. It is a warning light pointing at something in our environment or character that is not working for ourselves or others. It is an opportunity for rethinking and innovation. It is the birth-pang of a new way of being that is waiting to be born. It is a reminder of our interdependence, of the skills we need to improve, of what is most important in life, of what we need to do or let go of in order to escape its’ orbit and evolve to higher levels of conflict."
“Our ‘opponents’ are our co-creators, for they have something to give which we have not. The basis of all cooperative activity is integrated diversity.... What people often mean by getting rid of conflict is getting rid of diversity, and it is of the utmost importance that these should not be considered the same. We may wish to abolish conflict, but we cannot get rid of diversity. We must face life as it is and understand that diversity is its most essential feature... Fear of difference is dread of life itself. It is possible to conceive conflict as not necessarily a wasteful outbreak of incompatibilities, but a normal process by which socially valuable differences register themselves for the enrichment of all concerned.”
Mary Parker Follett
If war is the violent resolution of conflict, then peace is not the absence of conflict, but rather, the ability to resolve conflict without violence.
C.T. Lawrence Butler
Patience is, in and of itself, a great challenge and it often holds the key to breaking through a seeming impasse.
"When conflicts arise, step away and breathe. There's a natural universal law that when you change the vibration of something, you change the result. The natural response is to fight back, which only increases the 'vibration' of the conflict, but inner stillness in one person changes the result for both people. Just try it and see!"
“Vulnerability, far too often described as a weakness, is essential for developing the deepest levels of trust. Of course, in order for team members to show vulnerability, safety is imperative.”
Runde and Flanagan
“Trust is choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else.”
"Our research has shown that 69% of relationship conflict is about perpetual problems. All couples have them – these problems are grounded in the fundamental differences that any two people face. They are either 1) fundamental differences in your personalities that repeatedly create conflict, or 2) fundamental differences in your lifestyle needs."
“Openness obviously depends on building trust among team members, and trust means being willing to take risks with one another and to be vulnerable.”
Runde and Flanagan
"All conflicts can be resolved!"
"While the handshake symbolizes the conclusion of a process, it simultaneously opens a new one, the need to forge quality implementation."
John Paul Lederach
“I do not ask the wounded person how he feels, I myself become the wounded person.”
Leaves of Grass, Walt Whitman
You are the creator of your own reality, and so you are not in jeopardy. You do not need to control the behavior of others in order for you to thrive. Your attention to things that you think they do that keeps you from your thriving is, in fact, what keeps you from your thriving... It is not what they do to you; it's what you do to you in fear of what you think that they will do to you.
"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances"
“By saying yes when you need to say no, you cripple the most important relationship in your life: the relationship between you and you.”
“Saying yes to happiness means learning to say no to things and people that stress you out.”
“A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment.”
“Human beings and human groups need time to deal with emotional and relational issues. . . . [G]roups spend 60 percent of the time . . . working. . ..The remainder is used for group maintenance, dealing with interpersonal issues that arise, and the like.”
"When we cultivate our capacity for balance and attunement, we can experience joyful inner liberation, no matter what the outer circumstances."
"To fly, we have to have resistance."
“What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.”
Carl Gustav Jung
"Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always."
"Out beyond right and wrong, there is a field. I will meet you there."
"An enemy is one whose story we have not heard."
Gene Knudsen Hoffman
“I don’t like that man, I must get to know him better.” ~ Abraham Lincoln
“Anger is a powerful motivator, but a poor strategist.”
“Differences can be the sources of creativity, or they can serve to divide.”
“The glue that holds people together in a team, and that commits people to an organization, is the emotions they feel”
“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”
John Quincy Adams
"Emotional intelligence is our capacity for recognizing and managing our own feelings and for recognizing and managing emotions well in our relationships with others."
“Under the guidance of an Emotionally Intelligent leader, people feel a mutual comfort level. They share ideas, learn from one another, make decisions collaboratively, and get things done.”
“The ability to monitor one’s own feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions”
Salovey and Mayer
"If your past worries now seem unnecessary, what about the current ones?"
"A willingness to trust and openly listen to alternative ideas and views is essential for collaboration to be successful."
“You can’t start building a bridge in the middle and if you want someone else to take the first step, YOU need to start building it from THEIR side.”
"Conflict is the beginning of consciousness."
M. Esther Harding
"Conflict prevents the ossification of the social system by exerting pressure for innovation and creativity."
“The mediator must create a positive emotional climate, while preventing interruptions and verbal attacks.” Chris Moore.
"Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional!" Max Lucade
“The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.”
"The decision to be positive is not one that disregards or belittles the sadness that exists, it is rather a conscious choice to focus on the good and to cultivate happiness in genuine happiness. Happiness is not a limited resource."
Christopher Aiff (1990-2014)
"When we change our daily lives - the way we think, speak and act we change the world"
Thich Nhat Hanh
"Yearn for the state of equanimity, irrespective of external circumstances"
"Kindness is in your power, even when fondness is not."
"In the end, the aggressors always destroy themselves, making way for others who know how to cooperate and get along. Life is much less a competitive struggle for survival than a triumph of cooperation and creativity."
All of your anxiety is because of your desire
and you will gain peace.