March 28, 2017

Conflict is therefore simply the sound made by the cracks in a system . . .

"Conflict is therefore simply the sound made by the cracks in a system, whether the system is personal, familial, relational, organizational, social, economic, or political. It is a warning light pointing at something in our environment or character that is not working for ourselves or others. It is an opportunity for rethinking and innovation. It is the birth-pang of a new way of being that is waiting to be born. It is a reminder of our interdependence, of the skills we need to improve, of what is most important in life, of what we need to do or let go of in order to escape its’ orbit and evolve to higher levels of conflict."

Ken Cloke

Our ‘opponents’ are our co-creators. . .

“Our ‘opponents’ are our co-creators, for they have something to give which we have not. The basis of all cooperative activity is integrated diversity.... What people often mean by getting rid of conflict is getting rid of diversity, and it is of the utmost importance that these should not be considered the same. We may wish to abolish conflict, but we cannot get rid of diversity. We must face life as it is and understand that diversity is its most essential feature... Fear of difference is dread of life itself. It is possible to conceive conflict as not necessarily a wasteful outbreak of incompatibilities, but a normal process by which socially valuable differences register themselves for the enrichment of all concerned.”

Mary Parker Follett

February 09, 2017

If war is the violent resolution of conflict, then peace is . . .

If war is the violent resolution of conflict, then peace is not the absence of conflict, but rather, the ability to resolve conflict without violence.

C.T. Lawrence Butler

Patience is, in and of itself, a great challenge and it often holds the key to . . .

Patience is, in and of itself, a great challenge and it often holds the key to breaking through a seeming impasse.

 Daisaku Ikeda

October 24, 2016

When you change the vibration of something, you change the result...

"When conflicts arise, step away and breathe. There's a natural universal law that when you change the vibration of something, you change the result. The natural response is to fight back, which only increases the 'vibration' of the conflict, but inner stillness in one person changes the result for both people. Just try it and see!"
Renee Miller

October 08, 2016

Vulnerability is essential for developing trust...

“Vulnerability, far too often described as a weakness, is essential for developing the deepest levels of trust. Of course, in order for team members to show vulnerability, safety is imperative.”


Runde and Flanagan

Trust is choosing . . .

“Trust is choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else.”

Charles Feltman

69% of relationship conflict is about perpetual problems...

"Our research has shown that 69% of relationship conflict is about perpetual problems. All couples have them – these problems are grounded in the fundamental differences that any two people face. They are either 1) fundamental differences in your personalities that repeatedly create conflict, or 2) fundamental differences in your lifestyle needs."

John Gottman

September 19, 2016

And trust means...

“Openness obviously depends on building trust among team members, and trust means being willing to take risks with one another and to be vulnerable.”
Runde and Flanagan

"All conflicts can be resolved!"

"All conflicts can be resolved!"

Martti Ahtisaari

While the handshake symbolizes the conclusion of a process...

"While the handshake symbolizes the conclusion of a process, it simultaneously opens a new one, the need to forge quality implementation."
John Paul Lederach

November 16, 2015

I do not ask the wounded person how he feels...

“I do not ask the wounded person how he feels, I myself become the wounded person.”

Leaves of Grass, Walt Whitman

July 24, 2015

It is not what they do to you; it's what you do to you...

You are the creator of your own reality, and so you are not in jeopardy. You do not need to control the behavior of others in order for you to thrive. Your attention to things that you think they do that keeps you from your thriving is, in fact, what keeps you from your thriving... It is not what they do to you; it's what you do to you in fear of what you think that they will do to you.

---Abraham

July 17, 2015

To choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances...

"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances"
Victor Frankl

June 10, 2015

By saying yes when you need to say no, you cripple the most important relationship in your life...

“By saying yes when you need to say no, you cripple the most important relationship in your life: the relationship between you and you.”

Nea Joy

Saying yes to happiness means learning to say no...

“Saying yes to happiness means learning to say no to things and people that stress you out.”

Thema Davis

 

June 01, 2015

A coach is someone...

“A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment.”

 John Wooden

May 13, 2015

Human beings and human groups need time to deal with emotional and relational issues. . . .

“Human beings and human groups need time to deal  with emotional and relational issues. . . . [G]roups spend 60 percent of the time . . . working. . ..The remainder is used for group maintenance, dealing with interpersonal issues that arise, and the like.”

Susan Wheelan

April 30, 2015

When we cultivate our capacity for balance and attunement....

"When we cultivate our capacity for balance and attunement, we can experience joyful inner liberation, no matter what the outer circumstances." 

Jack Kornfield

April 23, 2015

To fly...

"To fly, we have to have resistance."


Maya Lin

What you resist...

“What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.”

Carl Gustav Jung

Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens...

“Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is... The only problem in your life is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds. ” Dan Millman

April 13, 2015

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle...

"Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always."

John Watson 

Out beyond right and wrong...

"Out beyond right and wrong, there is a field. I will meet you there."

Rumi 

An enemy...

"An enemy is one whose story we have not heard."

Gene Knudsen Hoffman

April 01, 2015

I don’t like that man...

“I don’t like that man, I must get to know him better.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

March 10, 2015

Anger is a powerful motivator....

“Anger is a powerful motivator, but a poor strategist.”

Rob Jones

February 05, 2015

Differences can be the sources of creativity...

“Differences can be the sources of creativity, or they can serve to divide.”
Craig Runde

January 27, 2015

Emotions are the glue...

“The glue that holds people together in a team, and that commits people to an organization, is the emotions they feel” 

Daniel Goleman

You are a leader if...

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” 

John Quincy Adams 

Emotional Intelligence defined...Goleman

"Emotional intelligence is our capacity for recognizing and managing our own feelings and for recognizing and managing emotions well in our relationships with others."

Under the guidance of an Emotionally Intelligent leader...

“Under the guidance of an Emotionally Intelligent leader, people feel a mutual comfort level.  They share ideas, learn from one another, make decisions collaboratively, and get things done.”

Daniel Goleman

Emotional Intelligence defined...

“The ability to monitor one’s own feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions”

Salovey and Mayer

January 22, 2015

If your past worries

"If your past worries now seem unnecessary, what about the current ones?"

Yuan Tze

January 20, 2015

A willingness to trust...

"A willingness to trust and openly listen to alternative ideas and views is essential for collaboration to be successful."
Dale Eilerman

Power in organizations...

"Power in organizations is the capacity generated by relationships. It is an energy that comes into existence through relationships."
Margaret Wheatley

Our propensity to be competitive...

"Our propensity to be competitive hinders efforts to interact collaboratively."
Dale Eilerman

January 05, 2015

“You can’t start building a bridge in the middle...

“You can’t start building a bridge in the middle and if you want someone else to take the first step, YOU need to start building it from THEIR side.”
Richard Rohr

December 30, 2014

Conflict is the beginning...

"Conflict is the beginning of consciousness." 

 M. Esther Harding

December 09, 2014

Conflict prevents the ossification...

"Conflict prevents the ossification of the social system by exerting pressure for innovation and creativity."

Lewis Coser

December 08, 2014

The mediator must create a positive emotional climate...

“The mediator must create a positive emotional climate, while preventing interruptions and verbal attacks.” Chris Moore.

Conflict is inevitable

"Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional!" Max Lucade

November 10, 2014

The greatest work that kindness does

“The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.”
Amelia Earhart

May 12, 2014

Happiness is not a limited resource...

"The decision to be positive is not one that disregards or belittles the sadness that exists, it is rather a conscious choice to focus on the good and to cultivate happiness in genuine happiness. Happiness is not a limited resource."

Christopher Aiff (1990-2014)

April 18, 2014

When we change

"When we change our daily lives - the way we think, speak and act we change the world" 

Thich Nhat Hanh

Yearn for the state of equanimity

"Yearn for the state of equanimity, irrespective of external circumstances" 

Amma

April 14, 2014

Kindness is in your power

"Kindness is in your power, even when fondness is not."  

Samuel Johnson

April 09, 2014

Aggressors always destroy themselves

"In the end, the aggressors always destroy themselves, making way for others who know how to cooperate and get along. Life is much less a competitive struggle for survival than a triumph of cooperation and creativity."

Fritjof Capra

All of your anxiety

All of your anxiety is because of your desire
for harmony.
Seek disharmony
and you will gain peace.

Rumi

June 06, 2012

An apology is.....

"An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything."

Lynn Johnston