Conflict Management Quotes

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Marianne Williamson (I have also seen this quote attributed to Nelson Mandela)

Do unto others (platinum)

"Do unto others as they'd like done unto them."
Dr. Tony Alessandra - The Platinum Rule

Do unto others (gold)

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
The Golden Rule

Love is the only force

"Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend." 

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Look fear in the face

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you must stop and look fear in the face." 

Eleanor Roosevelt

The ability to influence decisions

"Power is the ability to influence the decisions of others." 

Roger Fisher

Does this path have heart?

All paths are the same; they lead nowhere.  The question you must ask yourself is "Does this path have heart?" 

Don Juan to Carlos Casteneda

He who does not trust enough

"He who does not trust enough will not be trusted."

Lao Tse

Never in this world can hatred be stilled by hatred

"Never in this world can hatred be stilled by hatred; it will be stilled only by non-hatred; this is the law eternal."

Buddha

Everyone can master a grief

"Everyone can master a grief but he that has it."

William Shakespeare

A man's errors

"A man's errors are his portals of discovery."

James Joyce

If you judge people

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

Mother Teresa

When you try to push your rightness toward another who disagrees

Even in your rightness about a subject, when you try to push your rightness toward another who disagrees, no matter how right you are, it causes more pushing against. In other words, it isn't until you stop pushing that any real allowing of what you want can take place.

Abraham

Where to look next

"Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next."

- Jonas Salk

The minute you don't want power

“The most exquisite paradox… as soon as you give it all up, you can have it all. As long as you want power, you can't have it. The minute you don't want power, you'll have more than you ever dreamed possible.”
Ram Dass

What the enemy thinks you have

“Power is not only what you have but what the enemy thinks you have.”
Saul Alinsky

If we manage conflict constructively

“If we manage conflict constructively, we harness its energy for creativity and development.” 

 Kenneth Kaye

A problem is a chance

“A problem is a chance for you to do your best.”

Duke Ellington

When conflict becomes a win-lose

“When conflict becomes a win-lose contest in our minds, we immediately try to win.”

 Thomas Crum

To make conflict unnecessary

“The peak efficiency of knowledge and strategy is to make conflict unnecessary.”
Sun Tzu

Change means movement

“Change means movement. Movement means friction. Only in the frictionless vacuum of a nonexistent abstract world can movement or change occur without that abrasive friction of conflict.” 
Saul Alinsky

Work on developing a cooperative relationship

“Work on developing a cooperative relationship, so when conflict comes, you believe you are allies.”
Dean Tjosvold

Conflict can be seen as a gift of energy

“Conflict can be seen as a gift of energy, in which neither side loses and a new dance is created.”
Thomas Crum

Smooth seas

“Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.”
African Proverb

When we are being compassionate

"When we are being compassionate, we consider another's circumstance with love rather than judgment."

- Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D.

The activity of influencing people to cooperate

"Leadership is the activity of influencing people to cooperate toward some goal which they come to find desireable."

- Ordway Tead

The gift of listening

"With the gift of listening comes the gift of healing."

- Catherine de Hueck Doherty

At the core of all anger

"At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled."

- Marshall B. Rosenberg

Kindness is a language

"Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."

- Mark Twain

Joy lies in the fight

"Joy lies in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering involved, not in the victory itself."

- Mahatma Gandhi

The most beautiful form of love

"To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness."

- Robert Muller

I will meet you there

"Out beyond ideas of rightdoing and wrongdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there."

- Rumi

Everything that irritates us about others

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
Carl Jung

But you can control your attitude

"You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you."
Brian Tracy

Forgiveness does not change the past

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."
Paul Boese

Sensitivity requires a willingness to listen

"Sensitivity to others is no trivial skill; rather, it is a truly precious human ability. But it isn't complex: it requires receptiveness to other people and a willingness to listen."

James Kouzes and Barry Posner

To neither suppress our feelings nor be caught by them

"To neither suppress our feelings nor be caught by them, but to understand them-that is the art."

Jack Kornfield

They will never forget how you made them feel

"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel."
Carl W. Buechner

A good listener

"A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something."
Wilson Mizner

If we have no peace

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten we belong to each other."
Mother Teresa

30% of a typical managers time

Up to 30% of a typical managers time is spent dealing with conflict.
Thomas, K and Schmidt, W. (1976)

Peace is not the absence of conflict

“Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative alternatives for responding to conflict --
alternatives to passive or aggressive responses, alternatives to violence.”

Dorothy Thompson

The Facilitation of Negotiation

Mediation is the facilitation of negotiation.
Norman R. Page

Flow with whatever is happening

"Flow with whatever is happening and let your mind be free. Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate."

Chuang Tzu

Deep listening from the heart

"Deep listening from the heart is one half of true communication. Speaking from the heart is the other half."

Sara Paddison

Recall what you were worrying about one year ago

"If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today."

E. Joseph Cossman

A sad soul

"A sad soul can kill you quicker than a germ."

John Steinbeck

Peace within yourself

“First keep the peace within yourself, then you can also bring peace to others.”

Thomas a Kempis

Make this conflict explicit

“Instead of suppressing conflicts, specific channels could be created to make this conflict explicit, and specific methods could be set up by which the conflict is resolved.”

Albert Low

I will fight no more forever

“Hear me, my chiefs! I am tired. My heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands, I will fight no more forever.”

Chief Joseph