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January 05, 2015

Collaborative process guide, not decision maker

In my book, Peace at Work, I describe nine postures that make up the mediation stance. Really the mindset of the mediator, it ensures that we do no harm while respecting the participants right to self determination.

In describing the 6th posture, which reminds us that we are a collaborative process guides, not decision makers, I open with this quote by Søren Kierkegaard. He says that “When one is to succeed in leading a person to a certain place, one must above all take care to find out where he is and start there.”

This was shared by Tim Johnson on the New York City dispute resolution listserv, and is on point, and dare I say, better!

“You can’t start building a bridge in the middle and if you want someone else to take the first step, YOU need to start building it from THEIR side.” Richard Rohr

Thanks Tim!


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